Lead SALead SA

There is help for men who are victims of sexual abuse

Written by: Lengwadishang Ramphele

Martin Pelders is a victim of sexual abuse. After struggling to recover from his past and realising that there were no support groups for men who are victims of sexual assault, he started an organisation in 2011 called MatrixMen.

It runs recovery groups for men in Johannesburg and is starting its first group in Cape Town.

Speaking to CapeTalk's Refilwe Moloto, Pelders explains his journey in starting MatrixMen and some of the challenges he had to face.

People don't want to hear about men who have been abused and men don't want to talk about it. At first, I thought I am going to have queues of guys at the door but none of that happened.

Martin Pelders, Founder - MatrixMen

The fact is guys are just not ready to deal with this sort of a thing. There is a lot of shame and pain attached to this and a lot of guys numb with a lot of drugs and alcohol.

Martin Pelders, Founder - MatrixMen

He says abuse is not always the violent act people may assume. It is often, in fact, extremely loving.

This is part of the 'grooming' process, he explains.

Predators seek out that vulnerable child who is always looking for that love factor in their lives....the predator spots that from a mile away.

Martin Pelders, Founder - MatrixMen

MatrixMen provides support for men that get to a point in their lives where they can finally admit that they were at sexually abused at some stage in their life, and want help.

Listen to this moving conversation below:


This article first appeared on CapeTalk : There is help for men who are victims of sexual abuse




Read next from articles

Should new school pupil sexual assault code be more victim-oriented? NGOs debate

Should new school pupil sexual assault code be more victim-oriented? NGOs debate

Department of Basic Education has released a new code on how officials must deal with pupils who commit sexual assault.
Read on...

'Leaving Neverland' director: Michael Jackson groomed boys and their families

'Leaving Neverland' director: Michael Jackson groomed boys and their families

'Leaving Neverland' director Dan Reed talks about the making of the explosive Michael Jackson documentary and what it reveals.
Read on...

The Survivors: Surviving Sidney Frankel, the ‘paedophile’ billionaire

The Survivors: Surviving Sidney Frankel, the ‘paedophile’ billionaire

In the first episode of “The survivors” series, Joanne Joseph sits down with Nicci Diamond Levenstein, a Sidney Frankel survivor.
Read on...

Muting R.Kelly, Michael Jackson and co makes no ethical impact, pundit argues

Muting R.Kelly, Michael Jackson and co makes no ethical impact, pundit argues

The danger of "cancel culture" is that it can tread on the side of performance, says ethics lecturer Jacques Rousseau‏.
Read on...

[LISTEN] 'Young men can be taken advantage of by older women'

[LISTEN] 'Young men can be taken advantage of by older women'

Dr Eve and Eusebius McKaiser discuss the issue of sexual abuse at the hands of women.
Read on...

[WATCH] Winter is coming, feast your eyes for the Game of Thrones trailer

[WATCH] Winter is coming, feast your eyes for the Game of Thrones trailer

Khabazela shares tweets and Facebook posts that have gone viral.
Read on...

GDE confirms 3 pupils suspended after female pupil raped at orientation camp

GDE confirms 3 pupils suspended after female pupil raped at orientation camp

Gauteng Department of Education's spokesperson Steve Mabona says the three have been suspended and a charge has been laid.
Read on...

[LISTEN] Bryanston High School sexual abuse case handled 'badly'

[LISTEN] Bryanston High School sexual abuse case handled 'badly'

The WMACA has disputed claims by MEC Panyaza Lesufi that appropriate action was taken.
Read on...

[SA EXCLUSIVE] Singer Sparkle opens up about R Kelly sex abuse claims

[SA EXCLUSIVE] Singer Sparkle opens up about R Kelly sex abuse claims

CapeTalk presenter Sara-Jayne King talks to Sparkle about the R Kelly documentary and her relationship with the R&B star.
Read on...

Sexual abuse claims investigated at Centurian primary school by GDE

Sexual abuse claims investigated at Centurian primary school by GDE

Department spokesperson Steve Mabona says it is investigating the matter and will also allow the police to do their job.
Read on...